It’s hard for everyone to admit they have a problem and face their addiction head on, but it’s particularly hard for women.
That’s because feelings of shame are particularly strong among women. They feel they are letting down their family and being a bad Mother, Daughter or Wife. Women don’t tend to focus on their needs, but rather their responsibilities and don’t feel that they can take time away from the home to deal with their addiction. Additionally, women are judged harshly for drinking or taking drugs, and made to feel a failure and an embarrassment to their family. All of this stops women from sharing their problem and seeking addiction treatment.
But it shouldn’t be this way!
There is no fault when it comes to addiction. It can affect anyone, from any class, and women shouldn’t be treated any differently than men. As caregivers, it’s even more important that any issues with addiction are promptly dealt with, in order to avoid impacting the family unit and causing hurt and harm for generations to come.
We urge women to ask for help, and their families to support them in getting that help in a kind, supportive rehabilitation centre.
It’s even more difficult for a Mother Struggle with Addiction
Women with children are at an even greater risk of feeling trapped and not having the opportunity to go to rehab because of their responsibilities at home. But being a Mother is the most important job there is, and as an addict you cannot be the mother your children deserve.
Unfortunately, children of addicts are seriously impacted by the disease, they have to be on their guard and take on tasks and roles that normal children don’t. They have to grow up too fast, without the stability of a reliable, loving and present Mum in their lives. That is not what you want for your children!
While it’s hard to hear, if you are an addict and a mother, your behaviour causes your children hurt, makes you let them down and means they have to take responsibility and undertake things a child shouldn’t. We know you don’t want to admit you have a problem, as you’re ashamed, and that admitting it means admitting you’re letting your family down, but please know that you’re not alone.
Our Co-Founder Zalyia Silver had a 3-year-old when she got clean and sober, and remembers hating reading a bedtime story because she was desperate to have a drink. While it took her time to go and seek help, because she was trying to be there for others and was worried about her responsibilities, she finally realised that she couldn’t be the mother she wanted to be while she was drinking and using.
“It’s important to understand that drinking is costing you more than money – it’s breaking down relationships and stopping you from being a good parent. Once you understand that, it’s clear that getting help is essential for you and the whole family”, Zalyia explains.
“You don’t have to regret and be scared what damage has been done to your children – you have the power to change and your kids will be so proud of you if you do. Be there for your child – be present and be their rock, by getting clean and sober. It will change your life and theirs.”
Supporting Women Through Rehab
The Bridge is a safe place where you can recover and get the treatment you need in a private and dignified way. We understand what you’re going through and there’s no judgement, only support!
We’ve helped women from all over the world to get the help that they need and would love to help more. We’ve recently been delighted to support women from Dubai and Saudi Arabia, who find it even more challenging from a cultural point of view to get help. Yet when they were courageous enough to come and receive treatment and assured of privacy and anonymity, the treatment changed their lives. We treat every client with respect and dignity and offer options for 1-2-1 addiction treatment away from men, should that be required.
We respect family life at The Bridge and understand that mothers don’t feel there’s an option to leave the family home and go to rehab. But we know from personal experience that there is and your kids will thank you for it.
Don’t think that rehab means you can’t be in touch with your children. We recognise the importance of family connections. When you stop drinking or using, your feelings return, and Mums will usually feel guilt, shame and a desperate sense of missing out on their children’s childhood and missing being with them. We understand that and allow you connection with your kids during this time to help you and them heal.
We are flexible to enable you to speak to your kids and keep in touch during your treatment and we can even arrange visits and family therapy to rebuild relationships and help to undo any damage done. If you have very young children, we can offer one-to-one care, with regular family time at The Residence.
Please be brave and ask for the help you need. Contact us to find out more.
